Jerry, you need to find god
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
