you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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