The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
