But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
