if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
