Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
