EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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