He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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