'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
