I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize