so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
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