remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
