it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
