I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
