he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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