i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
