the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
