the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
