only if we run a train.
done.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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