you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
