He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My dick has a subreddit
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
