if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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