Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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