I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
