He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
