Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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