i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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