It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
