The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
