I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize