I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
