i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
