I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize