like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
