I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
