Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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