Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
