There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
