Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
