My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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