Umm I'm too high to move.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize