so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
