Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
