She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
