I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
