Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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