Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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