im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
