I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
