Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I looked at my own cervix.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
