Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm both gender and math confused
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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