There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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