There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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