was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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