If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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