last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you had me at cake vodka
I can't put those talents on a resume
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize