I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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