Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
