i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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