I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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