what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
