I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
