the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
