apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
