awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
where am i from again
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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